I guess this might be a slightly controversial thing to say, but in my experience it’s true. Your mindset has a massive impact on how others treat you. Here’s a great example.
Today I had occasion to catch a train.
When I got to my seat there were 4 ladies sitting around the table which I had booked and when I approached they studiously ignored me.
I stated, quite bluntly, but extremely politely, “Do you have these seats booked? My ticket is for this seat.”
It didn’t occur to me for a second that they would challenge me or defy convention. And they didn’t.
They apologised, and the person in my seat moved away from her friends.
Let me note that there were other empty seats I could have taken, but I didn’t fancy moving all my laptop and phone chargers once they were plugged into the extremely inconvenient sockets the train provides when the ticket holder of that seat turned up. It’s laughable how spoiled we are.
I’ll also say that moving seats was no hardship for the interloper. She didn’t look best pleased, but I’ll paraphrase Gary Vee in that if you feel that moving seats on a train is a hardship then you’re fucking soft.
Not 2 minutes later, a long 2 minutes I’ll add with the “evils” and “daggers” being ocularly (amazing word) directed my way, I saw a fellow walking up and down the aisle. He was muttering to himself, nervously looking down at his ticket and then up at the aisle labels. Eventually he mustered the courage to say to the woman next to me, “excuse me, I think that’s my seat.”
His voice was trembling and he plainly didn’t relish even this minor confrontation.
The woman, who had minutes before, giggled embarrassingly when she thought she might have been in the seat allocated to me, responded, “well, where are you going?”
The man mumbled a reply and then she said, “well I’m getting off at the next stop.”
“yeah, yeah, ok,” he whimpered and then retreated to a seat behind her.
His physiology was meek, his assertiveness poor and his communication servile. No wonder nobody took him seriously.
Fair enough, we live in the UK where people are shy of offending others, so I don’t expect everyone to have Donald Trump levels of self-assuredness but if you can’t even assert your right to a seat you’ve paid good money for, what hope do you have?
His claim was no more valid than mine, but my approach was totally different.
My mindset was “It’s my seat, they’ll move”
His was, “I hope they don’t get angry with me for pointing out that they’re in my seat”
My physiology was confident, I looked the offenders in the eye, smiled and spoke clearly.
He stuttered, looked down and was definitely terrified of making eye contact. It might be worth mentioning that he was a perfectly reasonable specimen of personhood. He was average height and build, there was nothing that might be considered “odd” about him.
My mindset was reflected in the words I said and the way I said them. As was his.
The way you carry yourself reflects the way you feel about yourself.
The way you interact with others reflects what’s going on in your mind.
For those who don’t believe that mindset is everything, start believing.
Reach out to me to talk more about this.